By Melissa Arnold
In December 2009, my family started a new holiday tradition. My two sisters and I, along with our Dad, ran a six mile loop around Forest Park in St. Louis, Missouri. My parents lived locally, but my sisters and I were only in town for Christmas. At the time, I wasn't much of a runner, and I had to train for this run, so I didn't "die" during it. My sisters and Dad were all runners, so this wasn't that big of a deal for them (or if it was, they certainly hid it well). Six miles was a big challenge for me; running for that long seemed nearly impossible. That first year, I'm not sure why I agreed to go or how I finished, but I did.
I loved this run, and it became something I looked forward to each winter. The four of us would load up into the car, drive to the park, do our run, then change into dry, warm clothes in the park's bathroom before getting coffee for the drive home. At the time, my runs were mostly short two to three mile runs, except for the big Arnold Family Christmas Six Mile Run. Just for one morning, I felt like a real runner, which was pretty foreign to me. Not having others to run with, it was also one of the few times I would run with someone else (I was lucky enough to have one of my family members stick with me throughout the run).
Now that my entire immediate family was into the practice of running (except my Mom, our #1 cheerleader), the sport became a point of connection in our family. We all lived in different cities across the country but always went on runs together when we saw each other during family vacations and holidays. We frequently talked about running too. Eventually, the topic of half marathons and full marathons came up, as my sisters and Dad started thinking about bigger goals. The following year, in July 2010, one of my sisters ran the San Francisco Marathon while my other sister ran the San Francisco Half Marathon.
When we were all together for Christmas later that year, I distinctly remember sitting at the kitchen table proudly proclaiming, "I'll never run a half marathon! That's way too far!" It's funny how you can convince yourself that you can't do something before you've even tried. It wasn't that I lacked the discipline to train or the physical ability to complete a training plan. Looking back, I know now that I lacked the confidence, and I couldn't see a clear path to running that distance from where I was at the time. If I could barely run six miles, how could I ever run more than twice that far? I had no idea training plans were even a thing.
Around that time, I learned that a few people I went to high school with had run half and full marathons. Even though my sisters had already gotten into endurance running, I thought they were on a different level than I couldn't achieve. On the other hand, these friends from high school were people kind of like me – played sports in high school but weren't overly athletic during or after college. It made me start to think that if this person or that person can run a half marathon, maybe I could do it too. My friend told me about Hal Higdon's training plans, and finally, I had a path forward that I could (somewhat) see. It was a way to get me from here to there, but if I spent too much time looking at the later weeks in the plan, I would get nervous. "How am I supposed to run ten miles or even 13.1?" Maybe I'd bitten off more than I could chew.
“Not necessarily hooked on the running, though that was part of it, but hooked on the feeling of accomplishment after working hard toward a goal.”
I signed up for my first half marathon and had several months to train. One of my sisters and my Dad were also going to be running at that event, so I didn't have to go alone (though I would be running it on my own). I followed the training plan, got in my miles, and ran my first half marathon in October 2011. It wasn't easy, and at times I struggled along the way, but for the first time that I can remember, I did something I once thought I could never do. I was hooked. Not necessarily hooked on the running, though that was part of it, but hooked on the feeling of accomplishment after working hard toward a goal.
I signed up for more half marathons and eventually turned my sights to the full marathon. In a similar fashion, I followed a training plan, dealt with some injuries, and ran my first full marathon in May 2013. It went by in a blink of an eye, and it was somehow both the longest and fastest four and a half hours of my life.
2013 Providence Marathon (Melissa's first marathon)
While I expected the sense of accomplishment that came with finishing my first full marathon, what came with it, newfound confidence, had an even more profound impact on my life. This confidence wasn't just about running; it spilled over into my everyday life. I felt strong and, in some ways, unstoppable. I felt like if I could get through 26.2 miles, I could get through anything. In the months after the marathon, I had more confidence at work, in both my skill and the value that I brought to the company. I took a chance and eventually went for a promotion that I might not have tried for in the past. I got the job.
That marathon eventually led me to run more marathons and eventually ultramarathons. Each time I tackled a new distance or a harder challenge, I looked back and thought about those "impossible" things I had done in the past. This included running half marathons, marathons, 50Ks, 50 milers, and 100 milers. I eventually had the confidence to try to do one thing that I thought was out of reach - qualifying for the Boston Marathon. I trained hard and ran my first Boston Qualifying time in February 2019. The only time something is guaranteed to be impossible is if you don't try.
As I was doing the training and putting in the work, I didn't realize that all those early mornings and early nights, the times I chose to work on "me" instead of going out with family or friends, and the many other sacrifices I made along the way, were all just an investment in myself and what I wanted to achieve. Sometimes as a runner, you have to be selfish and put yourself first. As an ultrarunner, it happens more than we might like. But in the end, all those minutes and miles add up, and you realize you're doing this because your goals and your happiness are worth it. Read that last sentence again.
Running and the confidence that came with it became my secret weapon, and I wanted to share it with everyone I knew. I became that annoying friend who encourages you to test your limits or to try something new. To chase your dreams or "do the thing!" It doesn't have to be running, either. I want people to find their own "marathon," whatever that means to them. I just want people to find the thing that gives them that glimmer of hope, that thing that pushes them to try.
Don't get me wrong; I'm human, and I still have bad runs, bad days, bad races, and bad weeks. I'm not always motivated, and sometimes I need a nudge in the right direction, too. Sometimes I might even skip a workout (though not too many!). It makes those really good runs all the more special. You know what I'm talking about - the runs where you really challenge yourself or where it feels so natural and effortless.
I'm a pretty solid mid-packer, and I certainly don't have a natural talent for running, but over time I've built on the confidence that the first marathon gave me. I've pushed myself to run farther and faster in the last few years than I had ever dreamt possible. If someone like me can do it, I think anyone can. You just have to put in the work, discover your confidence, and invest in yourself, and you just might find that running gives you more than you ever expected.
"It always seems impossible until it is done." ~ Nelson Mandela
About the Author
Melissa Arnold lives in Framingham, Massachusetts, with her husband and their two dogs. She runs on both roads and trails. She loves the low-key environment and community aspect of trail running but also appreciates the thrill of larger road races. She is looking forward to getting back to racing post-pandemic, mainly for the friends and hugs involved.
