By Tiffany Fischer
I have never been athletic. Despite growing up in Indiana where basketball is super popular, and being 5'11", I am just not coordinated nor do I really care for team sports. I rode my bike and ran around our yard with my dogs as a kid, swam in the local pool and lakes with friends, but never branched out much beyond that. After I got married and started graduate school, the graduate 15 (pounds) found me, and I began to run after graduation. The next year, my husband and I decided it would be fun to try a half marathon, and it seemed like if we were running, we should be training for something. We trained, I learned what an IT band was, and dealt with a lot of pain and frustration from mine. After some time off, we ran our first half marathon in the hilly but lovely Pennsylvania countryside in the fall of 2012 and then ran another down at Rehoboth Beach in December.
During our training, I met a friend who ran but was much faster than I was and had more knowledge about running through personal and family experience. She said that at my speed and ability, a marathon was really not for me. I believed her, she knew more than I did, and I was rather slow, but half marathons were fun, so that was okay. After rehabbing my IT band a bit, I was ready to train for another half marathon in 2013 but found out that summer that I was pregnant with our first baby.
Fast forward a few years, and add on another baby, as well as a move to Massachusetts. I decided the spring of 2017 was a good time to start training for another half marathon after four years off. I'd run on the treadmill a little between having kids but had mostly been trying to lose the baby weight, and my IT band still bothered me. Moving was hard, and I also dealt with a lot of anxiety and depression postpartum. The isolation of living in a new place with no friends made those issues a lot worse, but training pulled me out of it enough to function a little better. As I was training, another non-athletic friend signed up for her first marathon, so I arrogantly decided that if she could do it, so could I, and I signed up for my first marathon too, even before completing that half I was training for. I worried a little about what that first friend had told me but figured if I could find one with a long cut off, maybe I could at least walk my way to the finish and see what it was like to be a marathoner, even if in last place.
My problem at the time, and biggest blessing for my future, was that most road races are on Sundays. For personal and religious reasons, we don't run on Sundays, so I had a hard time finding a race. Finally, I came across the Stonecat Marathon, a race with a really long cut off on Saturday because apparently they also offered a 50 miler! I knew a little bit about ultra marathons. They sounded really cool and crazy, and I figured it would be neat to see someone doing one on the same course as my marathon. I found a group called the Trail Animals Running Club (TARC) on Facebook and made a couple of local running friends and decided to check out this trail running scene. Little did I know, the lack of Saturday road races would change my life!
2017 Stonecat (first trail race and marathon)
When I get interested in something, I fall hard and dive in deep. I read a ton of books, listened to a lot of podcasts, and peppered anyone who would listen with a bazillion questions about running trails, running ultras, and the local race scene. Trail Animals Running Club was super helpful in informing this excited newbie about all things trail and ultra related, and the ultra bug bit me even before I ran my trail marathon. As I got deeper into the world of ultras online, I asked my husband if he thought I could do a 50K someday. He told me to actually run my first post-baby half marathon in September, survive my trail marathon in November, and then we could talk about it.
Instead of just talking about it, I survived those races and signed up for four ultras in 2018, as well as my first mountain race, and then the Stonecat Marathon again to round off the year. I was in the honeymoon phase with ultras, head over heels in love, and thankfully had a very supportive husband who didn't squash my dreams. I was overreaching, to say the least. I continued having IT band issues off and on, and more importantly, I still had a toddler and a baby at home to take care of. It was a lot to juggle, but I was passionate about my goals and dedicated to working hard for them. I showed my husband how much these goals meant to me, and we were able to make time for fitting everything in.
2018 TARC to Hale and Back
The night before my third 50K, I found out I was pregnant with baby number three. Everything went fine with the race the next day, but my 100K I'd planned for at Ghost Train the following month didn't go so well. I was nauseated from pregnancy, became dehydrated, and couldn't eat much. By mile 39, I had to drag my cramped up leg as I walked less than two miles per hour back to base camp. I stopped at 45 miles, a distance PR, but still a disappointing finish compared to my big goals that year. I ended up walking most of my second Stonecat Marathon a couple of weeks later, but by then, I was just happy to be on the trails with friends, no matter how slow.
I couldn't train much after that, and I took most of 2019 off. In the summer, I came back weak and slow, but excited and determined as ever to get back into the ultra scene! Postpartum anxiety came back stronger this round, unfortunately, and running helped diffuse some of that stress once again. Couch to 100 miler in 12 months was my plan and kept me excited, motivated, and moving toward my goals. Unfortunately, the start of the pandemic this past spring ruined all of that. I may still have a shot at my first 100 miler in November if things don't worsen, but until then, I'll just keep training and try to stay optimistic. Through all of the races, and especially the breaks, I realized I love ultras because it's an excuse to try something new and push myself. Without races this year, I've learned to do that with the help of random challenges with friends, virtual challenges and races, and just getting out to new trails and exploring on my own. It's all been out of my comfort zone, but really, isn't that what ultrarunning is all about?
“This isn't a ‘found inner talent and rose to the top’ type of story, but more so a ‘dug in, didn't quit and is having fun at the back of the pack’ type of story. Honestly, though, we need both narratives because not all of us are talented and amazing at running, but we still deserve to dream.
I'm still not very athletic. I am stubborn, I have good mental stamina, and I can keep going all night, but I'm a bit chubbier and a lot slower than I was pre-kids and even slower after baby three. I am typically dead last and/or pushing the cut off and will choose my races accordingly. This isn't a "found inner talent and rose to the top" type of story, but more so a "dug in, didn't quit and is having fun at the back of the pack" type of story. Honestly, though, we need both narratives because not all of us are talented and amazing at running, but we still deserve to dream. It is nice to know we aren't alone in our struggles, we do fit in, and we should keep chasing our dreams no matter what advice anyone else offers. I want people to know this slow, busy mom found a place in the ultra and trail world, and there's a space for everyone!
My friend meant well when she said marathons weren't for me; she didn't want me to end up injured or disappointed. But I'm here to tell you, don't listen to those friends. Anything you want to try that you're willing to work for is meant for you, even if some of us have to push a little harder to get there. I may never win awards or set an FKT, but every time I try something new, succeed or fail, I grow and change and feel proud of the more courageous person I'm becoming little by little, anxiety laden step by step.
There is no mold to fit into when it comes to trail running. Anyone can do it, everyone is welcome, and even if one day that cut-off time catches up to me, I won't give up, and you shouldn't either. Every effort, regardless of the outcome, is an important part of the journey. Your journey may be bumpy like mine, but that makes the ride much more interesting, and really, isn't that the point of living - making it the most interesting, bumpy, but beautiful life we can imagine?
Happy trails!
About the Author
Tiffany Fischer lives in Grafton, Massachusetts, with her husband, Lukas. She is a stay-at-home mom to three children under six and an old fuzzy Newfoundland dog. Reluctant to take the title of "athlete" in any form, she runs ultras for fun while taking care of her busy family and has recently gotten into hiking on the Appalachian Trail and in the White Mountains. Random fun fact: She and her husband speak the same three languages, English, French, and German, although they do not share the same native language. They are attempting to raise their children bilingual as all three are German-American citizens.
